i don't know how to feel...marah + sedih at the same time...well, i nangis dah tadi....
well, i received an invitation from the pr agency yang handle o*lympus. 3 days trip from kl-kerteh-redang to test out their latest camera and ada this environ awareness program...i was so teruja when i received the email/invite...last year i went for their 4x4 trip kat tanjung malim (boss yang bagi) and i had such a blast (mana reti ambil gambar pun masa tu tapi other media and the o*lympus staff yang ada were really-really helpful..)and i wrote a pretty ok article using the pictures i took after that...
i printed out the email and bagi kat dragonlady and said "saya nak pergi trip ni"..she said yes and we discussed on the features that i could write..me being such a good person, pergilah isi borang tugasan luar (minta permission and elaun kerja) and bagi to the Big Boss to validate.
i bagi the borang the same nite and tanya if boleh pergi or not to the BB, he said nnt dia tgk and since the trip is end of april, dia kata tak perlu rush. i was like..what?? i dah nak bercuti masa tu and the agency surely nak confirmation awal la kan? dia tak pikir that sense ka??
anyhow...i went bercuti and the 1st (or isit 2nd...no matter) day of work, Lady Boss (lagi tinggi pangkat daripada DL, cakap BB tak bagi i pergi and she would assign a journo from the state pergi.
i was crushed sebab kenapa i tak dapat pergi, whereas ppl from other desk boleh je pergi state or overseas trip...dah lah plak the trip yg i nak pergi ni fully sponsored and i asked for elaun bodoh jer. (minta pun sebab its my right as a pekerja when u go tempat lain to do work).
tapi i redha la sebab ada gak org nak pergi as this contact is really close to us. (the pr wasn;t happy that kena hantar budak state and oped that dak kl pergi. i said the decision is not at my hand, so takleh nak cakap apa..)
i bgtau DL and dia pun marah lah kenapa nak kena suruh budak state pergi and takkan nak budak kl ni duduk and buat story around kl jer....tak berkembang langsung...and she told me kecoh sikit kenapa i dapat pergi. wtf? i bukan pergi suka-suka like that, plus it was my contact and my boss said ok...
aleh-aleh today, a colleague of mine (sama office) bgtau that she is going for the trip yg i nak pergi tu. i takdelah marah or jealous kat dia. not her fault that BL bg the asgmet to her tapi i was terkejut and crushed. gila babi patah semangat nak kerja ok?
kata nak hantar budak state tapi rupanya hantar same office. kenapa tak je cakap yg diaorg mmg taknak hantar i and give me a God damn reason. kalau prestasi kerja i merosot pun, let me know lah. ni tak, not a single word and lepas tu buat cam ni sekali.
gila terasa sangat-sangat teraniaya! i HATE this job. i hate the politics.
i guess kena terima the decision and cakap takde rezeki. but still i tak puas hati kenapa buat mcm tu sekali. gila babi cold blooded cruel.