pilihan, memilih, memihak?

So ok, everywhere you go nowdays mesti banyak bendera, stickers, reports of the upcoming pilihanraya..its everywhere! its making me sick...(not helping when u are smack in the middle of it all kan?)

firstly tak paham why kena satu tempat or rather spot tu mesti ada puluhan/ratusan bendera, sticker or that tape yang panjang tu utk tandakan the party....pelikkan? i mean, kenapa diaorg tak buat benda yang sama untuk bendera Ma*laysia or states? kalau politic*al parties, gila tak ingat....taksub for some...dah pulak for me, mengotorkan keadaan.

lets see how much of this bendera etc akan dapat ditanggalkan...mesti ada yang akan melekat for bertahun-tahun...maybe even until the next pi*lihanraya! i was reading reports that b*n spent more than RM1 mil (or isit bil?) for promotion. i'm sure othe parti*es pun guna duit yang agak banyak too....gile ke apa?

bukankah patut the money guna utk org yang memerlukan? don;t they watch the series like Ber*samamu or whatever kat telly? it shows that they are still people yang perlu diutamakan....not promotion so that you can win...

as you can see, i'm not really into polit*ics. i've always hated it, thats why masa my mum suggested i ambil political sc macam ra*zak bagin*da, i kata takmolah. bosan.

so, ok, they are good politi8cians out there...but berapa ramai? its always disheartening when u tgk reports of someone with power, menyalahgunakan the kepercayaan yang diberi oleh rkyat untk self-gain. i mean, see la like the guy in klan*g tu.

i (MAYBE) support the ruling par*ty , as they have given me a good education, money for me to belajar, a peaceful nation....but then, sakit hati lah when u hear stories macam that guy and the guy yg suruh tutup one eye coz of the balak kes aritu!

they were the ones yg kena tunjuk contoh, and yet, they are such creeps! some poltici8ans act like they own the country! whatever happens to 'we work together' thingy?

they are ppl yang nak buat something yang tak logik just to raih un*di. come onlah..pengun*di nowdays are not gullible! don;t think you can tipu us...tak kiralah kat this hutan konkrit or the folks kat kampung.

everyone can see what is happening...everyone can see the empty promises....its just hard for them tu pilih coz the parti*es involved ada their own strength and weaknesses..

i'm just pissed off actually. pilih*anraya is such drama kan? masa ni lah semua orang nak tunjuk baik, masa ni lah nak mencaci orang tak ingat dunia, masa ni lah nak menjahamkan alam, masa ni lah segala propaganda keluar sebab nak raih un*di., masa ni lah me*dia kena alat at the same time kena bang....

being a peng*undi for the first time in the next few days, i' seriously thinking apa/siapa yang nak pilih...do i pilih the party or should i pilih the individual..? i mean, takkan orang sengaja nak jatuhkan nama negara kan? tak kiralah u pem*bangkang or tidak....what if the person chosen dulu wsn't really buat kerja dia? i mean, whats the significant thing yang dia buat for the kawasan? what if the person aritu pun tak kenal the penduduk yang elec*t him dulu? .

i believe in public relation. its something yang harus dikekalkan. but sadly, our pilihan*raya sometimes is like a joke. memula poyo berkem*pen, but bila dah kena pilih, terus senyap. bila nak elec*tion sekali lagi, baru timbul. masa nilah tetiba whatever rak*yat complained before diperbaiki...why can't they do it much earlierlah?

what if you buat pilihan yang salah? four or five years is bukan satu tempoh yang pendek, ok? if you ada anak, that tempoh u dah boleh tgk dia bercakap, lari and whatnot....

gosh, so many questions....*sigh*

L.O.V.E.

I love you

...forever and ever...until we both tua kerepot, barely even boleh berjalan, sponge bath and all..
and sampai after-after that... :-X

jumpin' jacks!

'How Far We've Come'
- Matchbox Twenty

I'm waking up at the start of the end of the world,
but its feeling just like every other morning before,
Now I wonder what my life is going to mean if it's gone,

The cars are moving like a half a mile an hour if that,
and started staring at the passengers who're waving goodbye
can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time?

chorus:
But I believe the world is burning to the ground
oh well I guess we're gonna find out
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come
Well I, believe, it all, is coming to an end
oh well, I guess, we're gonna pretend,
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come

I think it turned ten o'clock but I don't really know
then I can't remember caring for an hour or so
started crying and I couldn't stop myself
I started running but there's no where to run to
I sat down on the street, took a look at myself
said where you going man you know the world is headed for hell
say all goodbyes if you've got someone you can say goodbye to

I believe the world is burning to the ground
oh well I guess we're gonna find out
let's see how far we've come (right now)
let's see how far we've come

Well I, believe, it all, is coming to an end
oh well, I guess, we're gonna pretend,
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come

Its gone gone baby its all gone
there is no one on the corner and there's no one at home
well it was cool cool, it was just all cool
now it's over for me and it's over for you
well its gone gone baby its all gone
there's no one on the corner and there's no one at home
well it was cool cool, it was just all cool
now it's over for me and it's over for you

I believe the world is burning to the ground
oh well I guess we're gonna find out
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come
Well I, believe, it all, is coming to an end
oh well, i guess, we're gonna pretend,
let's see how far we've come, again
let's see how far we go
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we go
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we go
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we go
let's see how far we've come

everytime i hear this song, terasa macam nak menari (which sometimes i do! :-D). bukan cantik tau, imagine me dancing like cacing kepanasan. hahaha.

but then, bila baca the lyrics terus teringat pasal pilihanraya. muhahahahaha. me so mean. :-P

Books!

I went home early today..malas nak duduk lelama kat office eventho ada kerja nak siapkan. yesterday my plans to cari buku terbantut, and today i've decided to get myself a book. went to g.e mall and *tra la la la la*, beli empat books + 1 magazine! hahahahaha....




ok, 3 of the books are in a value pack (kira 3 at the price of 1-lah), one (D is for Dahl) tu menggatal beli sebab it seems interesting, and the mag (malas nak scan) - Tell, is something fitri and i selalu baca...i can't wait to read them later tonite! i bet they are also going to be peneman when i accompany papa to the hospy this friday for his eye surgery.

lost

do you at times rasa that you're lost? and what you have done is not enough? today, my almost perfect day is shattered. i found out my b*sses bising about my work. apparently what i wrote wasn't enough and katanya, my quality kerja menurun.

i've been hearing (dulu) one of them cakap that kawin je kerja menurun. i'm so pissed off coz how dare she said things like that without cermin diri sendiri! don;t she know that ppl are working their a*s off. sacrificing their time for work and have lil else apart from that! and i have to give it to my colleagues, they bear with it and telan. i guess, my limit dah sampai kot coz i don't want to be the person who utamakan kerja and let everything that matters to me slide. i balance my time.

unfortunately....

i'm sad. sedih sampai menangis the whole day and sampai rumah je, terus tidur. bayangkan tidur dari pukul 8 pm until 1 am. (i'm sure boleh tidur until the next morning but my mom's constant call for me to eat and the need to talk to fitri buat i bangun), wanting to shut the world away. the sakit hati is unbearable. not just that, lets just say, self esteem pun barely there.

you see, starting 1 jan, i buat this promise to myself that i would be a better person, a better jour*alist. so i work my a*s off to make sure tak tertinggal datelines, story better etc...but when i heard the news today (a colleague bgtau me tru the phone/sms), my heart just stop...memula numb and as soon as i letak the phone, nangis tak ingat....

i'm tired. tired of trying, work hard and then aleh-aleh kena kutuk belakang. i know myself and i know that i do a lot of research to do my writeups, bukan pakai bahan sedia ada buat suka hati, syok sendiri, kaki mengampu or ambil assignments/fax orang and made it as its for me! i've sacrificed a lot! but maybe my best is not enough. or maybe this work is not for me....*sigh*

some ppl would say that i should be stronger but i dunno. rasa cam dah nak give up. the thing is, now i'm lost and i don't know what i should do or what i'm good at. kira cam semangat dah lebur. *sigh*.

maybe they are true, maybe kerja i ntah pepe nowdays...lots if maybes. lots of self-doubt. lots of questions.

i wish hubby is here so he could wipe the tears away.

there goes my new year resolution.

Kids

I was writing about something else early this morning, but only half way because i was already sleepy as it was already 1 am..saved it and until now tak sambung. maybe later when i'm really-really free...

this entry lain sikit sebab an experience i had when i visited a rumah kebajikan today and i wanted to write about it before i forget...

this morning i had an assignment (in journo world, assignments are events/interviews that kena cover), dekat a rumah kebajikan in che*ras. it was actually about a pharmaceutical company that donated RM280,000 worth of vaccines to 6 institutions under Kementerian Pem. Kelu*arga & M'syakat. the first lady was there and admittedly, she's really baik but nampak sedikit nervous lagi around ppl....anyway, thats beside the point.

lepas the whole ceremony, as we go around the nursery we saw quite a number of babies and toddlers yang tengah makan. (older kids takde sebab time sekolah).

the rumah kebajikan houses 172 kids from 1 day old to 18. (42 sehari-1 y/old, 58 2-6 y/olds and the rest 18).

the rumah kebajikan for me, is really nice and large compared to a few rumah kebajikan i've been before. maybe becoz its under the kementerian and situated tengah-tengah bandar., bukan handled by ngos.

the rumah kebajikan jaga kids who are abandoned by their parents, or families yang tak berkemampuan nak jaga they all, parents yang menjalani hukuman penjara or yang kena dera or anak-anak yatim piatu. ada yang sebab arahan mahkamah.

the kids that i saw today were really-really cute (budak mana tak comelkan?) and well behave! tak percaya but really! tak taulah sebab diaorang terkejut/gembira kot coz there was a lot of ppl there today, most of them were in the nursery...

what i saw was : some babies yang still kena bedung was sleeping soundly without care apa yang happening around them...bigger ones tgh kena suap makan bubur dekat the baby chair and minum susu botol di sofa/katil (helped by kakitangan the home), some were playing in the playpen...

i went to a nearby crib and there was a lady who kerja kat rumah kebajikan tu yang tengah tepuk-tepuk one baby, about 4 months old, to sleep. the baby was really-really quiet (maybe sebab dia sleepy) and tgh suck her thumb....

i said, "comelnya dia isap jari".

lady replied kindly, "adik, kebanyakan budak-budak sini isap jari..sebab mak dia takde.."

that made my heart break...big time.

it is sad when we see all this kids, so innocent and powerless...undoubtedly they are loved and cared for at that home, but i'm sure they need more than that...

the lady cakap lagi, "most kids here tak diambil (as anak angkat), sampai ada yang sampai besar kat sini...).. maybe sebab orang taknak isi paperwork, takut atau taknak bother procedur yang leceh sikit...plus nowdays, u takleh pilih baby yang comel-comel je. habis yang tinggal ni pun nak rumah juga kan?"

what she said is true...most ppl mmglah nak baby comel. but then, all of us kenalah ingat every one- man, woman, kids, babies are God's gift....

even first lady pun mentioned that ppl nowdays are not as compassionate as before sebab banyak bagi priority pada benda lain - family sendiri, work and they forget that they are ppl who needs a little love, help...

i left the rumah kebajikan with a deep sense of sadness...wish that i didn't have to go... :-(

Merinduimu

Kerinduan
Sheila Majid

Dulu pernah aku bersumpah
slalu setia jika ku mencinta
masih melekat rasa itu
saat cintamu datang padaku

Semua terwujud saat kau singgah
panasi cinta untuk setia merindu

Kerinduan ...
tak akan menghilang
kan selalu kurasa
tak mampu ku menghindar

Kau berikan apa yang ku pinta
kau mengikat ku dalam cinta
temaniku dalam setia

Aku tak pernah mengharapkan
cinta lain datang membelaiku
aku dapat slalu bertahan
menahan cintamu di sukmaku

Kehadiranmu basuh jiwaku
engkau sulutkan api cinta diriku

Kerinduan ...
tak akan menghilang
kan selalu kurasa
tak mampu ku menghindar

Kau berikan apa yang ku pinta
kau mengikat ku dalam cinta
temaniku dalam jalani hidup ini

How Television Works

'The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set -
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotized by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight back or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink-
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSES IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK - HE ONLY SEES!
"All right!" you'll cry. "All right!" you'll say,
"But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children! Please explain!"
We'll answer this by asking you,
"what used the darling ones do?
How used the keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?"
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow :
THEY...USED..TO...READ!
They'd READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and the proceed
TO READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Much wondrous, fine, fantastic tales
Of dragons, gypsies, queen and whales
And treasure isles, and distant shore
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,
And cannibals crouching round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.
(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious it's Penelope.)
The young ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr Tod, the dirty rotter,
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs Tiggy-Winkle and -
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How The Monkey Lost His Rump,
And Mr Toad, and bless my soul,
There's Mr Rat and Mr Mole -
Oh, books , what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And Children hitting you with sticks -
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something good to read.
And once they start - oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fill their hearts. They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen
in that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.
P.S Regarding Mike Teavee,
We very much regret that we
Shall simply have to wait and see
If we can get him back his height.
But if we can't - it serves him right.'
- Oompa-Loompas from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
(Written by Roald Dahl)

I am having a blast reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! And ntah kenapa, I feel like adding this part here....maybe because i'm fascinated how creative Roald Dahl was...Its just this part of the book caught my attention. I guess he really hates the idiot box, huh? For me,I can't live without the TV...it keeps me sane after a hard day at the office...oh, books too, of course! :-D

FiVe ThInGs YoU DoN't KnOW aBoUt Me

Saya telah ditag oleh Emma....topic: 5 things you don't know about me...fuh! nasib baik lima jer...ahaha...

ok here goes :-

1 - Sejak kecil, my haircut selalunya mesti dipotong straight..tak kiralah depan or belakang, tapi mesti straight (kengkadang depan tu dapatlah layered, tapi belakang memang straight). So, after form 5 (i think la), kerja part-time kat Toys 'R' Us, and bila dapat gaji skit, nak lah try potong lain sikit the hair. Kononnya nak potong layered, pergilah this salon kat Ampang Park...Poyolah pergi salon masa tu coz tak berani nak try kat aunty yang selalu potong my hair. first time nak potong lain sikit la katakan...*snip*snip*, the kononnya 'stylist' tu potong my hair macam racoon, ok?!? rambut atas tebal, bahagian bawah nipis..kinda remind me of a racoon!...masa tu terkejut sikit. ingatkan you know, the terkejut we have after a haircut sebab tak biasa...so, i figured : "maybe esok rasa ok kot.."...dahlah plak lepas the haircut i had this class gath, semua cam terkejut la dgn my 'wajah baru'..needless to say, i punyalah malu. the next day, the hair takdelah jadi better, so, i went to my normal aunty potong rambut, and cut it short...ala-ala boycutlah. i spent close RM100 for the stupid haircut, tak tambah the repair work after that lagi.. :-( banyak tu considering i only kerja part-time and no other extra income masa tu...sumpah lepas tu tak pergi the 'professional salon' dah..hahaha..

2 - My mom selalu suruh i pakai dresses when i was growing up...Something like an english girl style lah...i don't really mind most of the time but, kelakar la gak when everyone else pakai pants and here i am pakai dress. Ada sekali tu, pergi ambil sijil penghargaan/kepujian something like that sekolah rendah i bagi (i was in Form 1 by then, but the sijil was about kecemerlangan UPSR) and i was the only one in a dress. Yang lain datang semua casual wear jer...Segan gak sebenarnya, but oklah kot lain sikit. :-D Funny, i ni cam tomboy, lasak and tetiba ayu pakai skirt. ahahaa...oh, kalau masa sekolah rendah, if i perlu pakai tie (coz librarian dari darjah 3-5), my mom would make sure i masukkan dalam my pinafore..kononnya lagi kemas..

3 - Fitri a.k.a Tank who is my husband now was my first crush! Yep, masa kecik i selalu pergi his house to join my cousins and possibly my bro (tak ingat, but i tau my cuz adalah) pergi main. And Abang Fitri (thats what i call him then) would always be nice to me and let me join them. But most of the time they all naik bike, gi jalan somewhere, and i would stay at the house main masak-masak kot. hahah..masa kecik dah ada crush! see how boy-crazy i am!! Everytime i lalu his house (eventho my family has moved to BA and another family was staying at our previous home), I would wish to see him or if i see his parents or my Mak Teh, i would ask how he is...tapi tanya-tanya mcam tu je lah...takle lelebih...ahahaha...

4 - I was only allowed to melepak with my friends after PMR. Before that, either i keluar lepas sekolah secara haram dengan alasan, ada activities di sekolah (itupun takut-takut coz dad has a lot of 'spies') or untuk group projects..and i only ponteng sekolah once - pergi zoo negara!! (which is really near my house).. aahaha...masa tu tgh SPM, so we all yang takde major exam ni, amiklah kesempatan ponteng. ahaha...There were 4 of us...will try to look for the pixs and if ada, scan and load them.

5 - I tak pernah pergi clubbing. seriously. tgk live band tu ada lah a couple of times, itupun kat jazz festivals or kat lobi/lounge hotels but never pergi clubbing! tak taulah sebab kenapa...takde minat kot. or maybe takde kaki. but its something i don't regret.. :-D

p/s : I now tag my husband, Fitri; my cousin, Dayang & one of my closest friends, Murni... :-D

mumbles, rambles..

Joining the bandwagons of bloggers....I'm not really a "writer"..ahaha...so, whatever in here are things i feel like writing...some could be masuk akal, some are just ramblings...i love to babble...really.

i can literally talk non-stop if i'm comfortable enough with the people around me... :-) tend to be very quiet sometimes too....see? i'm rambling...

there you go...my first entry..hahaha.